Yes you read that right; there were plenty of lucky people who got FAF’ed at the Axis Club. What does that mean? Well if you went you were the lucky recipient of two amazing acts called Fat as Fuck and Five Alarm Funk!

Let’s just do the math.

Fat as Fuck- Five and Five = 10

Five Alarm Funk- Five and Five = 10

So out of ten we got a 20 out of 10 show!

After being away for 1000 years Fat as Fuck got on stage and asked just one thing from the audience. ADULATION! Well they got it in spades as the excited crowd that knows what this band can do live was just waiting in anticipation. The horns hit you face like an angry ex-girlfriend and somehow this time it worked. An old flame comes back to life.

The energy was high and joyous! It was not only still fresh, but felt current. This is music made for kangaroos. I looked around and saw new people absorbing this music and the look they were giving was simple astonishment. They were like a piranha hooked on a piece of meat as the stunned looked soon turned into movement and the place was erupting with pure excitement.

The old fans felt renewed again and the new fans were being washed over like a tsunami. The band even stuck with their classic look of white jump suits and translucent masks that put out the creepy feeling from a good horror movie.

I was happy to see their stage antics still had flair as they crawled around like an animal or danced with certain uneasiness about them. They are not much of a talking band between songs, but at one point their fearless trumpeter had to say, I am not one to talk, but I have to talk to you because these fucks have to tune their instruments. Well that was it for heartfelt speeches.

The pace continued to erupt as this band continued to assault us right in our happy place. At the end of their set if you didn’t know this band, I will guarantee you just became a fan. I honestly don’t think you could have found a better opening band for Five Alarm Funk that Fat as Fuck!

Here are some Phots of Fat As Fuck

Speaking of Five Alarm Funk, they walked on stage and soon announced that this was their 1000^th show! How lucky is Toronto? By the level of noise coming from the crowd, they felt pretty damn lucky. You could feel the grime sliding down their face.

By the third song your legs began to get tired from all the bouncing in the room and your brow was sweaty, but if this is how I am going to get my workout in, this is the best solution. This is the crowd Toronto should be almost every night, loud and excited and celebrating with the best bands that come and visit us.

Five Alarm Funk hail from Vancouver and have been throwing this energy at us for the last twenty years. We are very lucky because they will rear their crazy dirty faces in Toronto about once a year. So if you missed this show, they have a lot of rocket sauce left in them. Come out next year when I announce it. Tell them Blast Toronto sent you!

Like a good jazz band on special gummies, each member will get a chance to do a solo. They truly make it feel like a lightning rod straight to the audience. They way they connect are special and incredibly fun. At one point the sax player jumped off stage and walked through the crowd only to walk into the balcony area and do a solo from way up there!

The Conga player is a master of the smiling Buddha face. He will keep you entertained throughout the evening with his costume changes. I don’t think Cher would approve of some of his outfits.

He will have various animals try their hand out at playing the drums, like a pink gorilla or a very happy alpaca. We even had a land shark come and hit the skins. Heck, he will even throw in a third arm if he has to.

They even had a couple of surprise guest get up on stage. They brought on Emily Molloy and sang her heart out. She is also a Vancouver artist! They even brought on a member of Fat as Fuck to come up and grunt into the mike as if he had too many bean burritos backstage.

It was the liveliest 1000^th  gig that I have ever been to, and I wish them 1000 more. This band is a national treasure that is now getting the recognition they deserve. So remember when you wake up the next morning and you have to brush the hair off your tongue and take a very hot shower, don’t forget to WASH YOUR FACE!!!

Here is a link to their website so you can get sweaty when they come to a town near you.

Tour — Five Alarm Funk

Here is some photos of Five Alarm Funk